Yes, I'm teasing this house. But can you deny that this looks like an architectural love child between Penelope Cruz and a bank? You can't. Anyway, all it really needs is better landscaping and it wouldn't look so much like a bank. See? In this up-close pic you can tell the house is actually very nice-looking:
If you can believe it, this house is ONLY GETTING BETTER. Sure, the outside might not woo me, but INSIDE? Inside is a trove of wonders. Check out this office:
Are you seeing this? Are you seeing it? I mean, look at that room. First, it's got the faux finish all over the place. And then it's got arches near the ceiling, and the floor is the precise color and finish as the faux finish all over the walls...the only thing that could make this better is if the ceiling were also faux finished. I want the whole room to be like a big suede jewelry box, and I'm in it!
And scroll back up and look at that LAMP! It's one of those floor lamps that reaches out across the room and this one has little nubby orange light bulbs in it. There's also some kind of brown stripper pole looking thing in that room. Before I make an offer on this house, I have to make sure the lamp conveys.
Those windows are wonderful, but your maid is going to need a jet pack to get up there to clean them. So, just keep that in mind.
Now, look at this!
There's a cast-iron wood-burning stove with a long, long, long stovepipe. So long as to be, in my humble opinion, comical. And for crying out loud people, turn the television off before you take these realty photos! Spongebob isn't really adding to the ambiance.
Final Verdict: This house needs too much landscaping on the outside (for my tastes) and although it has that wonderful weird tan suede room, it's not the one for me. Scratch it off the list.
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