For Sale in Arkansas: Conversation Pieces

Buyers! These dramatic stairs are a conversation piece! Just think of the conversations you'll be having with yourself when your little dog refuses to come in at night after his potty break. You'll be saying all sorts of words while you tumble down these stairs in the darkness in your quest to bring him back in.

When you're lying at the bottom, with a broken leg and no cellphone because it's recharging in the kitchen, you can look up at the house and holler for your wife. She'll be irritated that you're taking so long to find the dog, but she won't come out looking for you for at least 30 minutes. Even then, she'll just crack the back door open and yell out into the darkness, demanding to know what's taking so long. Then, when she hears your anguished cries, she'll come down the stairs carefully and scold you for getting injured. That's how it works, you know. This will be your view as you watch her angelic form descending the deadly stairs.

Weeks later, after you've put this house with all it's bone-breaking memories up for sale, you'll be looking for properties in adjacent neighborhoods and you'll find this:

That's a giant rock. A rock in the rec room. Now THAT's a conversation piece.