For Sale at Thanksgiving: Who's Bringing the Wine?

Yes, please. Have you ever seen such striking carpet? That color is called "Wine," I believe.  I enjoy guzzling wine, but I usually choose white because after I get sloppy and spill wine all over the rug, nobody notices. This would allow me to drink Merlot and slosh it all over the place if I wanted to. I like that idea. Combine that carpet with the filigree iron curlicues and I'm in love. But only if the sunburst clock conveys.

Oh, there's more? Now, some of this doesn't work for me. When I get sloppy on Merlot, I don't know if I want to try to monkey with all these light fixtures. Just give me one choice and BAM on comes the light. Here I've got a pole lamp with little lanterns (3 switches, I presume, from which to choose), a table lamp, an overhead fan with three light bulbs but two pull-cords and you just know I'm going to pull the wrong one and have to get all flustered by that when the fan starts turning. Then there's the entryway light. 

And then, once I get all the lights on, I'll see myself reflected about ten-thousand times in all those mirrors. But only from the chin down. Then someone'll come swinging in through those saloon doors and I'm just going to be overcome by the absurdity of it all and spill wine all over the rug while I bust out laughing. 

Final Verdict: This place would really bring out the alcoholic in me, Honey. I don't know if that's what we really want in this stage of our marriage. Let's mark it off the list.